Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people no matter how hard...
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television...
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that...
When women are depressed they eat or go shopping. Men invade another...
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it direct it produce it...
I've thought for the last decade or so the only actual place raw truth was...
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
When the sun comes up I have morals again.
I've never been married but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think...
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out I lock every other...
I am thankful I was born in America although if I gain any more weight the...
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the...
I know what men want. Men want to be really really close to someone who will...
