Quite often I can be in a bookshop standing beneath a great big picture of myself and paying for a book with a credit card clearly marked John Grisham yet no one recognises me. I often say I'm a famous author in a country where no one reads.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls...
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light he had...
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried...
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time somewhere...
Some people see things that are and ask Why? Some people dream of things...
Religion is just mind control.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough...
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As...
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
In comic strips the person on the left always speaks first.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the...
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Well if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire what do...
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an...
At a formal dinner party the person nearest death should always be seated...
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of...
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is...
By and large language is a tool for concealing the truth.
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe then I'd have to say...
