So here is one of my theories on happiness: we cannot know if we have lived a truly happy life until the very end. This view of life and death was reinforced by my close witnessing of the buildup to the death of Philip Gould. Philip was without doubt my closest friend in politics. When he died I felt like I had lost a limb.
I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus if a producer is going to date a hot young thing I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird quirky funny girl.