It is clear I was never the Pretty Girl. I had my two front teeth knocked out when I was 10 and didn't fix them until I was 19. I have a crooked smile and a nose that looks like it's been broken 12 times but never has been. My nose was always red so people called me Rudolph. My whole face is off-center.
Here's a thing about the death of your mother or anyone else you love: You can't anticipate how you'll feel afterward. People will tell you a few may be close to right none exactly right.