My dad said 'The thing that I was told that was really helpful was that I mustn't be afraid of the things I was afraid of when I was five years old'. The shock of his childhood had put him in this defensive crouch against the world and he needed to know that he had a nice wife and kids and it wasn't the same any more.
You have to understand the tone of the movie because if it's supposed to be funny it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.