When I see my staff take a step back because I've lost my cool about something food-related I say never apologise for your standards. If someone doesn't meet them then you should explain that and that you want it changed. I want my staff to be like that too.
For a small child there is no division between playing and learning between the things he or she does just for fun and things that are educational. The child learns while living and any part of living that is enjoyable is also play.