I don't know if this is the kind of retrospective analysis that people are fond of applying to their work or actions but it feels like I knew I was going to be famous and I knew that an element of that would be traumatic so that if I could make myself something big and otherworldly it would be a kind of defence.
Melancholy and sadness are the start of doubt... doubt is the beginning of despair despair is the cruel beginning of the differing degrees of wickedness.