That's the beauty of being a comedian - it's the one job you're allowed to do that. We're lucky. We're really lucky.
I have a piece of great and sad news to tell you: I am dead.
The extreme limit of wisdom that's what the public calls madness.
I am a lie who always speaks the truth.
I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?
It would be a sad day if we British stopped being cynical, but you...
I have this absurd syndrome where I get these out-of-the-blue, pathetic...
It’s just rubbish.
