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Jeff Ross Funny

My parents grandparents aunts and uncles were all funny and I felt that energy that delivery that timing that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

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    Demetri Martin about Time

    If I have to move up in a building I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

    building choose elevator escalator because riding escalator tripped stairs
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    Quotes By Demetri Martin

    • Trust

      I like women but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars...

    • Time

      Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner...

    • Romantic

      Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do...

    Quotes About Time

    • Aaron Allston

      Sometimes to heal, you must first get hurt.

    • Akira Kurosawa

      I can’t afford to hate anyone. I don’t have that kind of...

    • William Labov

      And instead of getting a pepper-and-salt effect, we find very clear and...

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