Reclaiming the word 'fat' was the most empowering step in my progress. I stopped using it for insult or degradation and instead replaced it with truth because the truth is that I am fat and that's ok. So now when someone calls me fat I agree whereas before I would get embarrassed and emotional.
I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.