I was never afraid of failure after that because I think coming that close to death you get kissed. With the years the actual experience of course fades but the flavor of it doesn't. I just had a real sense of what choice do I have but to live fully?
Selfishness narcissism being uncomfortable in your own skin not feeling connected to the world around you feeling dislocated from family and youth having a strange relationship with your childhood - all those things feel really true to me.
