On neither the sun nor death can a man look fixedly.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it...
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any...
I am thankful for laughter except when milk comes out of my nose.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It...
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
I am two with nature.
If my films don't show a profit I know I'm doing something right.
Right now it's only a notion but I think I can get the money to make it into...
Money is better than poverty if only for financial reasons.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in...
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately it's the...
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Not only is there no God but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
To you I'm an atheist to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.
As the poet said 'Only God can make a tree ' probably because it's so hard...
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my...
If you want to make God laugh tell him about your plans.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
If my films make one more person miserable I'll feel I have done my job.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
The food here is terrible and the portions are too small.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...
If you're not failing every now and again it's a sign you're not doing...
Sex without love is a meaningless experience but as far as meaningless...
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed...
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed...
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
On the plus side death is one of the few things that can be done as easily...
Marriage is the death of hope.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening...
