I didn't attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it instead of carrying it.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

Old age: I fall asleep during the funerals of my friends.