What was really funny is that as I got older all those guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet all the girls that I knew in figure skating.

See I don't really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I've had have come after me. So it's really funny when girls get offended because I don't hit on them.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times eat at least 45 chocolate bars and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that through a combination of Nutella old pals and Barbra Streisand we can achieve happiness and very probably world peace.

Some of the writers I admire who seem very very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind as does David Sedaris. When they write the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend.

It's funny but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is nothing is more boring people like this. For me it's OK. But most of my friends at least they smoke and drink.

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

Keep your sense of humor my friend if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.

In my circle of friends I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

As I get older all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I no doubt deserved my enemies but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

I loved my 17 years with R.E.M. but I'm ready to reflect assess and move on to a different phase of my life. The four of us will continue our close friendship and I look forward to hearing their future efforts as the world's biggest R.E.M. fan.

In the name of the United States and President Bush I want to thank the Mexican people President Fox and his government for their friendship.

Never be afraid to meet to the hilt the demand of either work or friendship - two of life's major assets.

A passion for politics stems usually from an insatiable need either for power or for friendship and adulation or a combination of both.

The friendship of Shostakovich cast a brilliant light over my whole life and whose spiritual qualities captured my soul once and for all time.

To cement a new friendship especially between foreigners or persons of a different social world a spark with which both were secretly charged must fly from person to person and cut across the accidents of place and time.

I know I was a great friend to Tiger Woods. But when you have a relationship that's involves business and friendship - and the business part comes to an end - things always get a little blurry.

I can tell you dearest friend that if it became known how much friendship love and a world of human and spiritual references I have smuggled into these three movements the adherents of programme music - should there be any left - would go mad with joy.

So far as it depends on the course of this government our relations of good will and friendship will be sedulously cultivated with all nations.