On the stage you're there it's live. There's a beginning a middle an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.

I'm an unorthodox type of guy a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.

You know I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

If you use tact you can say anything then make it funny.

It's funny with fiction - once you cut something it hasn't happened anymore.

Something about New York man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny New York is the place to go.

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know every day I'm in a calico dress basically so it's kind of funny.

I don't think 'Gee I'd like to dress this person.' There was a picture in Us magazine. It was a jersey dress and Courtney Love was wearing it. I have this thing about Courtney Love this funny worship.

I always find it kind of embarrassing kind of funny and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot although nobody says anything. You know they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

It's funny as you live through something you're not aware of it.

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen.

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy one has a success but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time it's just wonderful.

It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai it's what you learn about yourself really. It's a funny old hippie thing but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance and about your inclusiveness.

I mean sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor and they just don't deliver because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful and they get that mixed up sometimes or don't even notice that that's the thing.

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

In this world everyone wants to know everything about you and I think that's funny.

My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.

It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.

The funny thing is Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.

I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.