That's what Major League Baseball's steroid scandal was all about the hidden harm in competitive sports that sends the wrong message to the young.

I like to feel that I understand little things about sports.

My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players bands that play quiet unassuming music and TV shows that win awards. In that way I am an elitist snob.

I think having a vision can make someone an influential man. I'm not talking about acting or anything like that I'm talking about people I admire whether it's a writer or a musician or a sports figure or a politician whatever.

Louie and Seabiscuit were both Californians and both on the sports pages in the 1930s. I was fascinated. When I learned about his World War II experiences I thought 'If this guy is still alive I want to meet him.'

As you know the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports.

I never really was that passionate about playing sports. But when I was at this Mt. Herman school I did have the ability to throw the frisbee. So when this sport evolved it was fun because I was good at it.

Some people train for certain sports and I want to train to be able to hold a super heavy electric guitar and carry luggage around myself because I always have to have 7 000 pairs of shoes. Who cares about sports?

I find interesting characters or lessons that resonate with people and sometimes I write about them in the sports pages sometimes I write them in a column sometimes in a novel sometimes a play or sometimes in nonfiction. But at the core I always say to myself 'Is there a story here? Is this something people want to read?'

It sounds like a cliche but it... you do sing about what you know about. And I grew up in a small town and I grew up in a place where your whole world revolved around friends family school and church and sports.

Now I know you expected me to say that well I just kick back in the rocking chair fished a little bit listened to Willie Nelson tapes and watched old baseball games on the Classic Sports network. And tell you the truth I have done that for maybe about five total minutes.

I don't necessarily love the sports per se I love the stories behind them. Also in a kind of perverse way I like to study what it does to us why we care so much. It's caring about something that's utterly meaningless.

I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports I wasn't good at anything artsy ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd.

Sports teaches you character it teaches you to play by the rules it teaches you to know what it feels like to win and lose-it teaches you about life.

What's unfortunate about buying a pitcher for $12 million is that he carries no warranty.

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.

Life is about timing.

The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

You shouldn't get to live in society and give nothing back. People complain about their taxes yet they do nothing for the community. That makes me furious.

On the other side of that coin and far outweighing it is the fact that I've been able to use genre of Fantasy/Horror and express my opinion talk a little about society do a little bit of satire and that's been great man. A lot of people don't have that platform.

I work in an old tradition that goes back to the ancient Greeks. You hold a mirror to crime to see what's happening in society. I could never write a crime story just for the sake of it because I always want to talk about certain things in society.

Sweden is still a very peaceful country to live in. I think that people in Britain have created this mythology about Sweden that it's a perfect democratic society full of erotically charged girls.

When women make their image about youth and sexuality and not about intellect that's kind of a dead-end road. So I think it's a combination of self-entrapment and entrapment by society.