The breakdown of the black community in order to maintain slavery began with the breakdown of the black family. Men and women were not legally allowed to get married because you couldn't have that kind of love. It might get in the way of the economics of slavery. Your children could be taken from you and literally sold down the river.
It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone.
I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until perhaps she passes into the realm of over ninety. Then it is better she be candid with herself and with the world.