My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud ballsy hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1 a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer.

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage it's funny to see what happens.

I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie you hope it's going to be funny you can't think about how it's going to go over.

I'm always in situations where you can't be funny and yet I want to do it anyway.

The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren't. And the songs that are probably are the ones they wouldn't think... so that's where it kind of is funny.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

I love Charlie Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular he's so funny and wry and every scene he's in he just takes. There's a scene in 'Eclipse' where Bella tells him she's a virgin and it's the funniest most awkward scene I've ever seen on film.

For some reason and I don't know why but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere.

Working with Chaplin was very amusing and strange. His films are so funny but working with him I found him to be a very serious man. Whereas the films of Hitchcock are macabre he could be a very funny man to work with always telling jokes and holding court. Of course when I worked with Charlie he was getting older.

What I don't like is when I see stuff that I know has had a lot of improv done or is playing around where there's no purpose to the scene other than to just be funny. What you don't want is funny scene funny scene funny scene and now here's the epiphany scene and then the movie's over.

'Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are or respond to them as provocation then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.

But I think Kiss Kiss Bang Bang really got that thing where if a movie reads really funny and then has some dramatic or violent or sinister stuff in it you can't forget that primarily it has to be even funnier than you read it or that other stuff doesn't work.

I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield England which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way.

In terms of the creative side of it it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.

Especially with a comedy you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. You're trying to figure out what's the funniest way to do something.

I show them the funny part the silly part the laughing part the crazy part and then the really deep deep part where I'm talking from my heart to these people. Because I've been through everything they've been through.

You know I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

Something about New York man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny New York is the place to go.

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And when in doubt make funny faces.

I've thought for the last decade or so the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages and had the ability to make it all funny entertaining and pertinent.