I'm a pretty funny guy and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys where they could help me through it.

It's funny. You succeed but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time.

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10 000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you that it's about the people who are nominated and respect that but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

From there to here and here to there funny things are everywhere.

I'm a misplaced American but don't know where I was misplaced.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

I grew up in Europe where the history comes from.

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now and we don't know where the hell she is.

Even where friendship is concerned it takes me a long time to trust people.

I noticed that no matter where I went in the country there was this group of questions that got asked. I would track them and keep them in categories. Like body image school family friendship you name it the emotional life of a teenage girl.

Why do we go around acting as though everything was friendship and reliability when basically everything everywhere is full of sudden hate and ugliness?

Happiness is understanding that friendship is more precious than mere things more precious than getting your own way more precious than being in situations where true principles are not at stake.

Sweet is the scene where genial friendship plays the pleasing game of interchanging praise.

No matter what message you are about to deliver somewhere whether it is holding out a hand of friendship or making clear that you disapprove of something is the fact that the person sitting across the table is a human being so the goal is to always establish common ground.

My parents and librarians along the way taught me about the space between words about the margins where so many juicy moments of life and spirit and friendship could be found. In a library you could find miracles and truth and you might find something that would make you laugh so hard that you get shushed in the friendliest way.

People come in and out of our lives and the true test of friendship is whether you can pick back up right where you left off the last time you saw each other.

A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it friends make life a lot more fun.

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.