When I get married it'll be no secret.

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

I've had an exciting time I married for love and got a little money along with it.

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married and another list of the reasons for their divorce you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

Bachelors have consciences married men have wives.

Well married a person has wings poorly married shackles.

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips yet she won't drink from my glass.

Never get married in college it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

All men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner.

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one go ahead get married.

If I get married I want to be very married.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair they'll be divorced very soon because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.

In married life three is company and two none.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.