It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

Funny enough if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery we look at them and go I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.

Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And when in doubt make funny faces.

Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation and he isn't yet historical.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations it gives them hope in their own life.

The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Because of their size parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

I loved my 17 years with R.E.M. but I'm ready to reflect assess and move on to a different phase of my life. The four of us will continue our close friendship and I look forward to hearing their future efforts as the world's biggest R.E.M. fan.

In the name of the United States and President Bush I want to thank the Mexican people President Fox and his government for their friendship.

They took their meals together and it was remarked on such occasions when the friendship of animals is put to a hard test that they never quarrelled or disputed the possession of a favourite fruit with each other.

Only solitary men know the full joys of friendship. Others have their family but to a solitary and an exile his friends are everything.

I think romance is friendship and attraction sort of meeting together and that does influence what I'm writing a lot. I try to establish the attraction obviously but I also think it's important to show the characters having actual conversations about things other than their feelings for each other - and to develop their friendship on the page.

Here's a news flash: No soldier gives his life. That's not the way it works. Most soldiers who make a conscious decision to place themselves in harm's way do it to protect their buddies. They do it because of the bonds of friendship - and it goes so much deeper than friendship.

But as I was saying from my experiences I think men tend to be more timid in expressing their feelings for you. Regardless I always prefer a friendship first and foremost.

In my public service I treasure my friendship with law enforcement officers. I admire what they do and support them in every aspect of their job. I have always looked upon law enforcement officers as my friends.

I play- it's kind of like a slice-of-life LA women in their forties playing forty kind of what's their friendship like and what's their life like and so I just play one of the four friends.

Often the magical elements in my books are standing in for elements of the real world the small and magical-in-their-own-right sorts of things that we take for granted and no longer pay attention to like the bonds of friendship that entwine our own lives with those of other people and places.

The differences between friends cannot but reinforce their friendship.