They're great girls. They're very funny they're very smart they're fun to be with. They're very lively as I think people can tell. And you know they're very confident girls.

When I turned about 12 or 13 I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

I'm a big fan of certain new acts. I love any genre of music and I think it's really great to see that there are new artists coming through. It's kinda funny to think that I'm like the old man on campus now. But I'm really happy for groups like One Direction. I think they're really good guys.

It's so different when you change your hair color you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.

I auditioned for a solo in church and got it. I was about seven and I sang a song called 'Jesus I Heard You Had a Big House' and I remember people standing up at the end and me thinking 'Oh I think I'm going to like this.' That's how it all began. Sounds funny to say you got your start in church but I did.

What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book I was not thinking about publishing and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books I see them very visually.

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean really. I mean not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is like really funny.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention ' it would be funny.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

Funny how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.

I believe in a funny way the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.

I wasn't even 20 at the time but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man a warm funny loving family man and turn him into a loser and worse.

I'm always in situations where you can't be funny and yet I want to do it anyway.

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted intelligent person making the right choices.

Sometimes laughing isn't the best judge of what's funny 'cause I think there's a lot of things that are really funny that don't make you laugh that don't make you physically audibly make a noise but is something that is much more powerful than that.

Most of my ideas just come out funny.

The Islam of the 18th 19th and first half of the 20th century was a poor thing. Nobody bothered about it. Islam was that funny sort of pure system of beliefs that depressed people in the Middle East held as their religion.

Funny I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday.

The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren't. And the songs that are probably are the ones they wouldn't think... so that's where it kind of is funny.

Billy is a funny cheeky lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that it's going to collapse on his head.

When you are not treated seriously you develop comically. Its sense of oneself is so fractured and fragile that it's like the picked-on kid who has to become funny.

When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.