Without a Mayaguez or something comparable that we don't see in the immediate future there is probably no one thing the President can do to himself to turn this situation around.

I really hope that we'll have a sustainable future on this planet I really do. So I probably geek out mostly about learning more about how potentially we can hopefully make that happen hopefully we're not too far lost.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren't. And the songs that are probably are the ones they wouldn't think... so that's where it kind of is funny.

It's so funny because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead I tend to get very focused and serious. So I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now.

And at the time it is funny how you can look at something and say for example with my shoulder injury when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me.

When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it but I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times eat at least 45 chocolate bars and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that through a combination of Nutella old pals and Barbra Streisand we can achieve happiness and very probably world peace.

It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.

Something about New York man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny New York is the place to go.

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

Success always necessitates a degree of ruthlessness. Given the choice of friendship or success I'd probably choose success.

All my life Americans have been accustomed to thinking of theirs as 'the richest freest' country in the world. By most measurements it was long a contender for that honor and - among the larger countries if equal weight were given to wealth and indices of freedom - probably did deserve to be so described.

I've never understood why people consider youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their own.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants airports streets hotel lobbies parks and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

The principle that certain sins should not receive the Church's testimony of forgiveness was probably no novelty at all but had been applied in various churches perhaps however with no strict consistency.

I like putting my money into things like food and shelter. I'm probably a bad example of an investor.

We had no electricity no gas. Food was probably our greatest entertainment - the most fun thing that we could do was food.

First I would probably place men at the bottom of the food chain. On a grander scale I would say they're reacting to change. Feminism has got to be part of that.

A lot of food criticism has a similar flavor to it and I'm probably going to write about it in a different way.

I probably grow half my food. It's a good way to keep perspective.

Entrepreneurs always pitch their idea as 'the X of Y' so this is going to be 'the Microsoft of food.' And yet disruptive innovations usually don't have that character. Most of the time if something seems like a good idea it probably isn't.

There are probably close to a million people in the hospitality industry here in the United States and there are probably only a few hundred opportunities in the food media industry.

Anybody who finds it easy to make money on the horses is probably in the dog food business.