Luckily I don't have to buy shoes anymore because I design them! I'm off tour so I can dive in and create the shoes that I want for my line. But okay I did buy a pair of vintage combat boots because they were so beaten up - I had to have them.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth inventor of television we'd still be...
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
I'd luv to kiss ya but I just washed my hair.
Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
One man's folly is another man's wife.
You see much more of your children once they leave home.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language I said nothing.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
If I had to live my life again I'd make the same mistakes only sooner.
People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well no I was an...
There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you she is...
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things and I have...
Be obscure clearly.
You're only as good as your last haircut.
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
My life needs editing.
Marriage is a wonderful institution but who would want to live in an...
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of...
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
I hate housework! You make the beds you do the dishes and six months later...
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40 000 pieces. And when you finish it it...
All men are equal before fish.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you...
If you want to be thought a liar always tell the truth.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
